I have known this friend for a while now. Let's just call him Darcy. I know him as a closeted person. Coming from a conservative family, I think the idea of getting married would have been put across to him by his parents many times.
A few months back, I bumped into him at the LCCT. He was with a girl. Darcy was waiting for his flight. The gal was sending him off. I was taken by surprised. I asked if that was his gal which he acknowledged. We chat at great length through text while I was in BKK.
I knew who he was and what he really wanted. I was really taken aback. If he was not being truthful to himself, he surely will be living in misery. Worse still people will get hurt. I got to know how he met the gal. Darcy also told me how long they have been together. I asked if this is what he really wants? He was silent and the text stopped.
During the eve of this New Year he was online. This time he initiated the conversation. Darcy is holed up at somewhere in Vietnam. He will be there for a good six month at least. He was entrusted to start up the operation of his company there. Darcy told me how lonely he was there. As usual, after exchanging a few pleasantries and some ice breaking conversation, I asked when he was going to get married. He said soon. I asked if he was sure this was what he wanted. He hung up.
I bet my last dollar this is not what he wanted. But he wants to be the goody boy to please his parents. This gal was also introduced to him by his parents. Besides his parents, he probably was under pressure from his friends who by now are either married or attached already.
I feel sorry for him. This is not what he wants. BUT only he can stand up for himself. Without which, Darcy will have to suffer the consequences. I can understand if he was not and are not sure of himself. But in this case he knows. Darcy is smart. He should make a stand and stick with his gun, bite the bullet and live his life. So he hurt no one.
Sometimes we just have to be cruel to be kind. We have to be selfless and think of others. This may seem like a paradox. How can I think of others when I do not give them what they want? BUT we fail to realize that we are just putting up a front and kidding them, the very people we are trying to please. Making them believe that there will be happiness ever after.
When the curtain comes down, when it finally dawn upon us that this is not what we really want, all hell will break loose. Think of their misery when the innocent catch us with our pants down. Whichever way and however we try to justify our actions it still can never be right.
I hope Darcy comes to his senses and be truthful to himself . He owes this to the innocent gal.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
New Year
While many of you may be celebrating and counting down, I was just too tired on the eve.
The suddenly announced public holiday disrupted my plans. I would be away and unavailable from 3 January 2011 onwards till I don't know when. So the last working day of the year was really crucial for me. I of course sighed in my heart, not daring to let it out. I was sure the rest of the work force would be asking for my blood had they known that I was not too happy with the holiday.
Anyway I retired and slept at about 10.30pm after wishing a friend Happy New Year. It was a pretty long text message. Woke up again by the noisy fireworks at 12ish. Tossed and turned in bed and slept again till the next morning.
I was slightly late but the contractor I engaged to work on Legolas' palace arrived even later. Checked my text messages while waiting for the contractor. There were quite a number of New Year greetings. Yes. My friend did wish me at 12.06am. As usual, a person of little words the message was simple but sweet.
Met the contractor. Got hold of the Elf. We later went for lunch after a stop at the electrical shop which I normally go.
It may be a bit too late but anyway, better late than never. Happy New Year folks. May this year be a better one and I wish you all all the wonderful and great things you all wished for.
The suddenly announced public holiday disrupted my plans. I would be away and unavailable from 3 January 2011 onwards till I don't know when. So the last working day of the year was really crucial for me. I of course sighed in my heart, not daring to let it out. I was sure the rest of the work force would be asking for my blood had they known that I was not too happy with the holiday.
Anyway I retired and slept at about 10.30pm after wishing a friend Happy New Year. It was a pretty long text message. Woke up again by the noisy fireworks at 12ish. Tossed and turned in bed and slept again till the next morning.
I was slightly late but the contractor I engaged to work on Legolas' palace arrived even later. Checked my text messages while waiting for the contractor. There were quite a number of New Year greetings. Yes. My friend did wish me at 12.06am. As usual, a person of little words the message was simple but sweet.
Met the contractor. Got hold of the Elf. We later went for lunch after a stop at the electrical shop which I normally go.
It may be a bit too late but anyway, better late than never. Happy New Year folks. May this year be a better one and I wish you all all the wonderful and great things you all wished for.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas
The traffic has been building up. The malls are filled to the brim with people. Many are clearing their annual leave. Retail businesses are thriving with so many people buying gifts.
It is this time of the year again where gifts will be exchanged. Many of us would have bought gifts for our friends and loved ones. Let us hope that we have also bought for our parents. They matter too!
During the hustle bustle of going around merrymaking, let us not forget those who are less fortunate. They are the ones who need the gifts most.
This fund raising done by a particular hotel in town touched my heart. I hope it will touch yours too. While we rejoice in the celebration, let us put in a prayer for the less fortunate. Their lives would have been changed if all of us set aside a dollar for each of the gifts we have purchased and donated it to a worthwhile cause.
Do not be disappointed if the gift we receive fall short of our expectation. It is the thought that counts. If we still are, think of how fortunate we are to be able to live and lead a normal life.
To my readers, I wish you all a safe and blessed Christmas.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Hilarious
Out of the blue I received this text message from a fellow blogger:
Him: Do you have a brother XXX(my surname) something?
Me : What?@*$&($&@#*(In my mind, How can he get this close!)
So I sent him this text:
Me : You trying to say my mum has another husband?
Him: (He is) Not a doctor?
Me: We both are!
I think he was a little drunk. Probably his eyes must be drooling at the slices of pork being brought out by the waitress or maybe the waiter himself!
He was really funny. I never thought he would ask in that manner. And it was probably my once of a lifetime chance to get even with this very witty fella.
Good on you mate!
Him: Do you have a brother XXX(my surname) something?
Me : What?@*$&($&@#*(In my mind, How can he get this close!)
So I sent him this text:
Me : You trying to say my mum has another husband?
Him: (He is) Not a doctor?
Me: We both are!
I think he was a little drunk. Probably his eyes must be drooling at the slices of pork being brought out by the waitress or maybe the waiter himself!
He was really funny. I never thought he would ask in that manner. And it was probably my once of a lifetime chance to get even with this very witty fella.
Good on you mate!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Perception
Me: U have so much clothes to wash? Two washes per week!
(I only wash at most once per week!)
Him: Yes. I change clothes all the time.
Me: Even at home? ( I know his routine pretty well.)
Him: Everytime I don't like ady, I change.
Me: (In my mind.) What kinda weird behaviour.
There was a long pause and the topic of conversation changed. Feeling dissatisfied, I revisit the topic again.
Me: I am a bit astonished as to how you can change your clothes like that.
Him: When I come back home, I change to my exercise attire.
After a shower, I change again.
Then when I wake up the next day, I change into a new set of clothes.
Everytime I shower I change my clothes.
Me: Ok. (I actually thought that he changes his clothes randomly every two
to three hours!)
While the conversation was on how much clothes were changed in a day, there was certainly some lessons for me. It could have been on other more sensitive and tricky issues.
How many times have we made assumptions? How many times have we come to conclusions? How many times have we perceived things, actions and situations which we later found out to be untrue?
How often have we allowed these myopic perception of ours to hurt our loved ones? How many times have we questioned their unconditional love because of our own norms and perceived notion? How many times have we passed judgment only to find out later and sometimes too late that the situation is not such?
We think what we want to think and we behave how we want to behave because we decide to. But the true picture out there may not necessarily be so.
All because of our mistrust, misconception and insecurity.
Feed your mind the wrong food and you see how it roams wild. Rein it. Be mindful of its ability. Control it. You will see how it can move mountains.
(I only wash at most once per week!)
Him: Yes. I change clothes all the time.
Me: Even at home? ( I know his routine pretty well.)
Him: Everytime I don't like ady, I change.
Me: (In my mind.) What kinda weird behaviour.
There was a long pause and the topic of conversation changed. Feeling dissatisfied, I revisit the topic again.
Me: I am a bit astonished as to how you can change your clothes like that.
Him: When I come back home, I change to my exercise attire.
After a shower, I change again.
Then when I wake up the next day, I change into a new set of clothes.
Everytime I shower I change my clothes.
Me: Ok. (I actually thought that he changes his clothes randomly every two
to three hours!)
While the conversation was on how much clothes were changed in a day, there was certainly some lessons for me. It could have been on other more sensitive and tricky issues.
How many times have we made assumptions? How many times have we come to conclusions? How many times have we perceived things, actions and situations which we later found out to be untrue?
How often have we allowed these myopic perception of ours to hurt our loved ones? How many times have we questioned their unconditional love because of our own norms and perceived notion? How many times have we passed judgment only to find out later and sometimes too late that the situation is not such?
We think what we want to think and we behave how we want to behave because we decide to. But the true picture out there may not necessarily be so.
All because of our mistrust, misconception and insecurity.
Feed your mind the wrong food and you see how it roams wild. Rein it. Be mindful of its ability. Control it. You will see how it can move mountains.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Complaint
Chef,
I am writing to you because I was truly disappointed with the food served. The long delay in between each dish and the final bill which was presented made the whole evening completely unpleasant.
I was at your restaurant on 17 December 2010. We arrived at 8.15pm. Prior to this I called you on Thursday and specifically told you that I would be bringing an acquaintance over to your restaurant. I had great faith in the food you serve because I have had many pleasant experiences at your place.
He had an appointment that evening which he rescheduled because of my telling him that I had already booked his meal with you. I had bragged about how good your food is to the gentleman. So we came all the way braving the very bad traffic jam from Bandar Utama. There was a certain level of expectation from us.
The sashimi was a real letdown. Save for the salmon belly, the rest of the sashimi was very poorly sized. We were given half piece triangular shaped sashimi which was smaller than those found in the eateries elsewhere. I was a little taken aback but said nothing at first. I then noticed that there was no presentation at all except for the igloo and scallop shell. I complained to the waiter when I finally came to my senses. No effort was made to rectify the situation.
We were served three pieces of beef each. I had always been served four pieces on all other occasions. I did not pick a quarrel because your staff said that this was Kobe beef and that the price has escalated.
By this time, my friend was already getting fidgety. The interval in between each meal was a little too long. Between the sashimi and radish stew with king crab, there was a 25 minute interval. It was already 9.45pm when the beef was served. I noticed that our dish was timed in such that it coincided with that of the other twenty over group diners who were having similar set meals. Toward the last two courses, my friend asked for the dishes to be served simultaneously. The whole 7 course kaiseki dinner took over two hours to complete. We were both restless.
When the additional tempura meal was served, I told him the restaurant must be making up for the shortcoming. I still had faith in your restaurant. Maybe it was just a hiccup in the kitchen.
The bill came to RMXXX per person. You told me earlier that it would be RMXXY each. Last Friday my friend came over with his family and paid RMXXY each. They had similar courses served but with the pregnant fish, which I had requested but was not served. We were served baked salmon instead. I find it unacceptable that the serving and food grade were reduced but price increased.
Your staff informed me that the price is indeed RMXXX. The price of beef has escalated. (I was served less beef but paid more.) Furthermore we asked for an additional course. If I knew that I would have to pay for the additional course, I would have made a selection instead of allowing your kitchen to dish out what ever they pleased.
At the end of the day I was RMZZZ poorer but still unsatisfied with the course meal served while having to apologize to my friend for having to get him to reschedule his appointment to come for this extraordinarily long dinner.It was a double loss situation for me. I forked out RMZZZ to promote your restaurant to him but he was certainly not impressed because the portion of food served and presentation was completely different from that I had bragged about to him.
I am quite sure that you sense my disappointment from the tone of my letter. I hope that you would do something to rectify the situation. If the bigger portions are only reserved for specific customers, do let me know so I can act accordingly.
Yours Sincerely,
carpe diem
I am writing to you because I was truly disappointed with the food served. The long delay in between each dish and the final bill which was presented made the whole evening completely unpleasant.
I was at your restaurant on 17 December 2010. We arrived at 8.15pm. Prior to this I called you on Thursday and specifically told you that I would be bringing an acquaintance over to your restaurant. I had great faith in the food you serve because I have had many pleasant experiences at your place.
He had an appointment that evening which he rescheduled because of my telling him that I had already booked his meal with you. I had bragged about how good your food is to the gentleman. So we came all the way braving the very bad traffic jam from Bandar Utama. There was a certain level of expectation from us.
The sashimi was a real letdown. Save for the salmon belly, the rest of the sashimi was very poorly sized. We were given half piece triangular shaped sashimi which was smaller than those found in the eateries elsewhere. I was a little taken aback but said nothing at first. I then noticed that there was no presentation at all except for the igloo and scallop shell. I complained to the waiter when I finally came to my senses. No effort was made to rectify the situation.
We were served three pieces of beef each. I had always been served four pieces on all other occasions. I did not pick a quarrel because your staff said that this was Kobe beef and that the price has escalated.
By this time, my friend was already getting fidgety. The interval in between each meal was a little too long. Between the sashimi and radish stew with king crab, there was a 25 minute interval. It was already 9.45pm when the beef was served. I noticed that our dish was timed in such that it coincided with that of the other twenty over group diners who were having similar set meals. Toward the last two courses, my friend asked for the dishes to be served simultaneously. The whole 7 course kaiseki dinner took over two hours to complete. We were both restless.
When the additional tempura meal was served, I told him the restaurant must be making up for the shortcoming. I still had faith in your restaurant. Maybe it was just a hiccup in the kitchen.
The bill came to RMXXX per person. You told me earlier that it would be RMXXY each. Last Friday my friend came over with his family and paid RMXXY each. They had similar courses served but with the pregnant fish, which I had requested but was not served. We were served baked salmon instead. I find it unacceptable that the serving and food grade were reduced but price increased.
Your staff informed me that the price is indeed RMXXX. The price of beef has escalated. (I was served less beef but paid more.) Furthermore we asked for an additional course. If I knew that I would have to pay for the additional course, I would have made a selection instead of allowing your kitchen to dish out what ever they pleased.
At the end of the day I was RMZZZ poorer but still unsatisfied with the course meal served while having to apologize to my friend for having to get him to reschedule his appointment to come for this extraordinarily long dinner.It was a double loss situation for me. I forked out RMZZZ to promote your restaurant to him but he was certainly not impressed because the portion of food served and presentation was completely different from that I had bragged about to him.
I am quite sure that you sense my disappointment from the tone of my letter. I hope that you would do something to rectify the situation. If the bigger portions are only reserved for specific customers, do let me know so I can act accordingly.
Yours Sincerely,
carpe diem
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Disease and Death
This has been a month of disease and death.
This is only the second week of the month. I already come to know of three deaths.
My colleague's father passed away after getting a heart attack for the third time.
My best friend's father in law passed on after a massive stroke. That is after a tumour the size of a soccer ball was removed from the liver. The cancer then spread to the backbone. Another operation was performed. The lung was infected and collapsed. Then came the massive stroke.
I helped a friend put an obituary for his founding partner's death. He lived up to the ripe old age of 80 plus.
On the disease side a close friend's mum was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas. The chances of survival is maybe 5%.
It made me think hard. Life is so fragile. It makes me wonder what and why I am sometimes sulking, ranting and fussing about. My problems seem so small compared to all that some of my friends and colleagues have gone through. I am sure many more people are facing bigger challenges in their life.
I thank thee for all I have. I thank thee for protecting my family, friends, acquaintances and myself. I pray that there shall be abundance for all. I pray that there shall be nothing that is insurmountable for anyone that is facing the challenges in their life.
This is only the second week of the month. I already come to know of three deaths.
My colleague's father passed away after getting a heart attack for the third time.
My best friend's father in law passed on after a massive stroke. That is after a tumour the size of a soccer ball was removed from the liver. The cancer then spread to the backbone. Another operation was performed. The lung was infected and collapsed. Then came the massive stroke.
I helped a friend put an obituary for his founding partner's death. He lived up to the ripe old age of 80 plus.
On the disease side a close friend's mum was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas. The chances of survival is maybe 5%.
It made me think hard. Life is so fragile. It makes me wonder what and why I am sometimes sulking, ranting and fussing about. My problems seem so small compared to all that some of my friends and colleagues have gone through. I am sure many more people are facing bigger challenges in their life.
I thank thee for all I have. I thank thee for protecting my family, friends, acquaintances and myself. I pray that there shall be abundance for all. I pray that there shall be nothing that is insurmountable for anyone that is facing the challenges in their life.
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