Monday, June 14, 2010

Flashback

J texted me weeks earlier telling me that he has changed his contact no.  I have not met him more than five times in the entire four over years I have come to know him.  I met him up again recently.

J is a fine young lad.  Matured in his thoughts, he is reliable and dependable.  This I can seize from the several meet ups we have had.  Our conversations are always intellectual in manner and I find them thoroughly stimulating.  I know that J had always liked to get to know me better.  He has dropped countless hints which I have either skirted or just ignored.  So much so that J thinks either I am not interested in him, he is not my type or he is not good enough for me.  The truth is that I think J deserves a better person.  I am not ready.  Maybe never will be!

One question that always pop up when we meet is whether I have been seeing, are seeing or have seen anyone.  Since J is already seeing someone and is moving down south to be with him, I told him what happened eight months back.  Somehow this world is really small.  I told J what they work as and he told me what their names were.  He knows one better than the other in person.

J was really surprised at the extent I went to woo my friend.  I think he was dumbstruck for a few moments. So much so that he asked what his shortcomings were.  He questioned why the engineer was not good enough.  I smiled and told him everything is about timing.  I was ready at that point in time and I was willing to let my guard down and let my heart rule.

We talked about many things.  All circling around relationships and about my friend and his other half.  Flashbacks on those events eight months back appeared.  I know for a fact that my feelings for him is real.  I want to let him have what he wants.  To let him be whatever makes him happy.  So deep in my heart and soul,  I am at peace.

I am happy for the person I met eight months back.  He is well taken care off.

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