Thursday, March 18, 2010

A Closure

From the beginning...
When I first started blogging I wrote about someone whom I have met and fallen for.  I was pretty messed up then. From being a nice person, he turned ugly. I am sure he would have felt the same about me too.  I was really worked up when he started accusing me for things that I did not do.  I turned to some friends who helped walk me through this.  I am thankful to them.

I am one person who would rather retreat and try to work things out.  Maybe I am not a fighter.   Never mind if we are not meant for each other.  Only time will tell.  I would not want to make an enemy out of you.  I do not believe that your actions and words were intentional.  I am sure I was at fault too.  After all it takes two hand to clap.

You are a strong person.  I was at the receiving end.  So naturally it would be easier for you to let go.  I was the one chasing. So I was the one who got hurt more. The wound  have healed but the scar may stay. With the passing of time, we all would get over it.  All this has come to pass.

I am happy for you if you have found the right one.  I tried to salvage whatever that was left and you told me enough was enough.  My principle in life is simple.  If I really love the person, I would have to let him go.  That is after all what he has asked for.   Surprisingly, I was willing to let you go.

I suppose my strength is also my weakness and my weakness is also my strength.

You are a nice person.  I know that you care.  You have a kind heart even to the one you do not love.  I experienced that myself.  I am glad that we are still friends. 

Initially, I wanted to immortalize this experience in words so that one day I can walk through it again when I am really sober.  For this moment in time, I shall leave it as it is.  I believe that it would no longer be necessary to do so.  There is finally a closure.

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. 
A healed memory is not a deleted memory. 
Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. 
We change our memory of our past into a hope for our future
- Lewis Smedes

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