Christmas

The traffic has been building up.  The malls are filled to the brim with people.  Many are clearing their annual leave.  Retail businesses are thriving with so many people buying gifts.

It is this time of the year again where gifts will be exchanged.  Many of us would have bought gifts for our friends and loved ones.  Let us hope that we have also bought for our parents.  They matter too!

During the hustle bustle of going around merrymaking, let us not forget those who are less fortunate.  They are the ones who need the gifts most.

This fund raising done by a particular hotel in town touched my heart.  I hope it will touch yours too.  While we rejoice in the celebration, let us put in a prayer for the less fortunate.  Their lives would have been changed if all of us set aside a dollar for each of the gifts we have purchased and donated it to a worthwhile cause.

Do not be disappointed if the gift we receive fall short of our expectation.  It is the thought that counts.  If we still are, think of how fortunate we are to be able to live and lead a normal life. 

To my readers, I wish you all a safe and blessed Christmas.

Hilarious

Out of the blue I received this text message from a fellow blogger:
Him: Do you have a brother XXX(my surname) something?
Me : What?@*$&($&@#*(In my mind, How can he get this close!)

So I sent him this text:
Me : You trying to say my mum has another husband?
Him: (He is) Not a doctor?
Me:  We both are!

I think he was a little drunk.  Probably his eyes must be drooling at the slices of pork being brought out by the waitress or maybe the waiter himself!

He was really funny. I never thought he would ask in that manner.  And it was probably my once of a lifetime chance to get even with this very witty fella.

Good on you mate!

Perception

Me:  U have so much clothes to wash?  Two washes per week!
        (I only wash at most once per week!)
Him: Yes. I change clothes all the time.
Me:  Even at home? ( I know his routine pretty well.)
Him: Everytime I don't like ady, I change.
Me:  (In my mind.) What kinda weird behaviour.

There was a long pause and the topic of conversation changed.  Feeling dissatisfied, I revisit the topic again.

Me:  I am a bit astonished as to how you can change your clothes like that.
Him: When I come back home, I change to my exercise attire.
        After a shower, I change again.
        Then when I wake up the next day, I change into a new set of clothes.
        Everytime I shower I change my clothes.
Me:  Ok. (I actually thought that he changes his clothes randomly every two
        to three hours!)

While the conversation was on how much clothes were changed in a day, there was certainly some lessons for me.  It could have been on other more sensitive and tricky issues. 

How many times have we made assumptions?  How many times have we come to conclusions?  How many times have we perceived things, actions and situations which we later found out to be untrue?

How often have we allowed these myopic perception of ours to hurt our loved ones? How many times have we questioned their unconditional love  because of our own norms and perceived notion?  How many times have we passed judgment only to find out later and sometimes too late that the situation is not such?

We think what we want to think and we behave how we want to behave because we decide to.  But the true picture out there may not necessarily be so.

All because of our mistrust, misconception and insecurity.

Feed your mind the wrong food and you see how it roams wild. Rein it.  Be mindful of its ability. Control it. You will see how it can move mountains.

Complaint

Chef,

I am writing to you because I was truly disappointed with the food served.  The long delay in between each dish and the final bill which was presented made the whole evening completely unpleasant.

I was at your restaurant on 17 December 2010.  We arrived at 8.15pm.  Prior to this I called you on Thursday and specifically told you that I would be bringing an acquaintance over to your restaurant.  I had great faith in the food you serve because I have had many pleasant experiences at your place.

He had an appointment that evening which he rescheduled because of my telling him that I had already booked his meal with you. I had bragged about how good your food is to the gentleman.  So we came all the way braving the very bad traffic jam from Bandar Utama.  There was a certain level of expectation from us.

The sashimi was a real letdown.  Save for the salmon belly, the rest of the sashimi was very poorly sized.  We were given half piece triangular shaped sashimi which was smaller than those found in the eateries elsewhere.  I was a little taken aback but said nothing at first.    I then noticed that there was no presentation at all except for the igloo and scallop shell.  I complained to the waiter when I finally came to my senses.  No effort was made to rectify the situation.

We were served three pieces of beef each.  I had always been served four pieces on all other occasions.  I did not pick a quarrel because your staff said that this was Kobe beef and that the price has escalated.

By this time, my friend was already getting fidgety.  The interval in between each meal was a little too long.  Between the sashimi and radish stew with king crab, there was a 25 minute interval. It was already 9.45pm when the beef was served.  I noticed that our dish was timed in such that it coincided with that of the other twenty over group diners who were having similar set meals.  Toward the last two courses, my friend asked for the dishes to be served simultaneously.  The whole 7 course kaiseki dinner took over two hours to complete. We were both restless.

When the additional tempura meal was served, I told him the restaurant must be  making up for the shortcoming.  I still had faith in your restaurant.  Maybe it was just a hiccup in the kitchen.

The bill came to RMXXX per person.  You told me earlier that it would be RMXXY each.  Last Friday my friend came over with his family and paid RMXXY each.  They had similar courses served but with the pregnant fish, which I had requested but was not served.  We were served baked salmon instead.  I find it unacceptable that the serving and food grade were reduced but price increased.      

Your staff informed me that the price is indeed RMXXX. The price of beef has escalated. (I was served less beef but paid more.) Furthermore we asked for an additional course. If I knew that I would have to pay for the additional course, I would have made a selection instead of allowing your kitchen to dish out what ever they pleased. 

At the end of the day I was RMZZZ poorer but still unsatisfied with the course meal served while having to apologize to my friend for having to get him to reschedule his appointment to come for this extraordinarily long dinner.It was a double loss situation for me.  I forked out RMZZZ to promote your restaurant to him but he was certainly not impressed because the portion of food served and presentation was completely different from that I had bragged about to him.

I am quite sure that you sense my disappointment from the tone of my letter.  I hope that you would do something to rectify the situation.  If the bigger portions are only reserved for specific customers, do let me know so I can act accordingly.

Yours Sincerely,
carpe diem

Disease and Death

This has been a month of disease and death.

This is only the second week of the month.  I already come to know of three deaths. 

My colleague's father passed away after getting a heart attack for the third time. 

My best friend's father in law passed on after a massive stroke.  That is after a tumour the size of a soccer ball was removed from the liver.  The cancer then spread to the backbone.  Another operation was performed.  The lung was infected and collapsed.  Then came the massive stroke.

I helped a friend put an obituary for his founding partner's death.  He lived up to the ripe old age of 80 plus.

On the disease side a close friend's mum was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas.  The chances of survival is maybe 5%.

It made me think hard. Life is so fragile.  It makes me wonder what and why I am sometimes sulking, ranting and fussing about.  My problems seem so small compared to all that some of my friends and colleagues have gone through.  I am sure many more people are facing bigger challenges in their life. 

I thank thee for all I have.  I thank thee for protecting my family, friends, acquaintances and myself.  I pray that there shall be abundance for all.  I pray that there shall be nothing that is insurmountable for anyone that is facing the challenges in their life.

MIA

A few readers have been asking what has happened to my blog.  It has not been updated for a while already.

I have been a little busy with work as the year draws to an end.  Coupled with some shopping spree and meeting up with my friend, I have not been posting as consistent as I have been in the past. 

There will be some post coming up shortly.  I hope it will make interesting reading to you all.  But I must state categorically that my aim for posting is not to generate traffic and fans.  I am more than pleased if you people are following what I am writing.  I certainly am not clamoring for glamor.

Thanks for reading people and have a great week!

Slut

I arranged for a friend to get his car fixed.  A new stereo system with navigational system, blue tooth and iPod connection together with front and rear sensors were fixed.  All for his son who is just going to sit for a public exam in a few weeks time.  Kids nowadays are so damn lucky.

The shop attendant explained and took my friend through the finer steps of operating the system.  At the end of the session this transpired:

Attendant:    Your son is married?
Friend:         No. He is still schooling. Why?
Me:              (Looked puzzled.  My friend looks so young,.
                    How can his son be married?)
Attendant:    If he is married he must come and see me.  I need to explain further.
                   The process of using the bluetooth is a little more complicated.
Friend:         Really? How come?
Me:              (I think I know where the attendant is coming from now.)
Attendant:    If his wife is in the car and his girlfriend calls,
                    he is going to get into trouble.  How is he going to answer?
                    Besides there will be a lot to answer to the wife.
                    Even if he has a girlfriend, it is dangerous.
                    The other girlfriends' gonna call to.
                    (He continued with the whole works of the different
                    situations and scenarios) 

Whether you are from this side or the other side of the fence, the beast in us never changes.  That is why we are the male species.  Our physical needs sometimes get the better of us. 

Today I was reminded that this slutty behaviour happens to both side of the divide, either you are gay or not.

Homophobia

Scene 1 Take 1
Me:    Where is Brandon? Haven't seem him at the gym for a while ady.
A:      That guy.  Bz chasing guys. 
Me:    No la.  He is straight.
A:      He can do both ways one.  Not like me.  I am straight.  Not bent one.
          (Showing his disapproval for people who are like us as well)
The conversation went on with some gay and bisexual bashing.

Scene 2 Take 1
B:     This people play gay one.
Me:  (Say nothing but just smile and keep my mouth shut)

Scene 3 Take 1
C:     Why do these people behave like that?   
         How can there be people like that in this world?
         What is wrong with these people?
(C is a female doctor.  Another doctor was after her husband who is also a doctor.)

The same story line continues...... over and over again.

We live in such a homophobic world.  I do not see how this is different from apartheid.  We are being profiled and chastised just because we are different.

How does a person's sexual preference obstruct or cloud his judgment?  How does ones action, lifestyle and believe affect the life of others who form the majority?  What happened to accepting and respecting each individual for his right of existence and living?  

Of course it is wrong to go after another heterosexual.  What more when he is already taken.  In this case married.

Sometimes our behaviour is less than desired.  But there are bad apples all around including within the heterosexual community.  So why the discrimination and stereotyping?

Shanghai-Second Chance

MAS is having a sale.  The airfare to Shanghai is cheap.  Less than a thousand ringgit for a return flight. Today is the last day of sales. 

I have been toying with the idea of going there since my failed attempt the last time. 

Friends have told me that I was stressed with the holiday and that I was relieved when I did not make it the last time.  This time around I was also pretty uncertain.  The issue here is the language barrier.  I do not read the language too.  I am sure they like tourist like me.  They would be able to spot me from miles away.   Easy meat to slaughter.

I asked around over the last couple of days if anyone who could speak or write the language wanted or could come along with me.  Free lodging at a friend's place.  No one was available.  As the sale draw to an end, I made my mind up.  I must conquer this fear of mine. 

So I decided.  The trip is on.  This time around I must not miss it flight!

RM5m Gift

I woke up this morning, picked up my papers and saw the headlines.  They are going to use RM5m to upgrade the dilapidated ICU at HKL.  I was stumped and flabbergasted.  I actually read the headlines again.  Three times to be exact.  I thought I was still half asleep.

Firstly, how can this be a gift from the powers to be?  It is all our money, buddy.  Assuming that it will be properly used and there would be no leakage in the fund disbursed, will the funds be used to upgrade the whole ICU? Or just some sections of it.  Some sections where the privilege has access to.

Secondly, you mean you guys only found out when someone dear to you and important landed there?  Some people's life is more important compared to others?  The condition is actually that bad?  Then RM5m is just a tiny fraction of what you you need to build another concrete structure.  I wonder why the person in charge never told you the need to put our your money where it was needed most.  Until you landed yourself there. Maybe you should visit more places more often.  That person in charge should be sacked for gambling with our your life.

Lastly, assuming that the whole ICU will be upgraded, I must say that we Klang valley folks are better off than the rest of us at the other parts of the country.  We are privileged.  Or maybe, only the one at HKL is dilapidated?

It is time we get our priorities right.  Being the first, the tallest, the biggest, the longest also means being the silliest.  If we get our priorities right then we would not be the laughing stock of the rest of the world. It is only when the rest of the world acknowledge our might and strength that we have come of age.  Beating our chest and telling the whole world how good we are means nothing. We are just killing ourselves.  Slowly but surely.

I shudder thinking that the much needed funds would be used elsewhere if you had not landed yourself there.

We are still like little kids running around in diapers.  What have we all become?   

PS. To my brethren who work tirelessly, imagine if more funds were channeled to make the working environment a more conducive one.  Saving lives would not be a chore then, would it? Perhaps some pinjaman peribadi would help

The One Hundredth - Birthday Post

Today marks the one hundredth post in my blog.  Finally, after three hundred and ten days.  It all started because I needed an avenue to air what is deep in my broken heart.

Thanks folks for the encouragement.  For those who left footprints in my posts, I would like to record my sincere appreciation for your effort and time taken.  I do read them and the comments do mean a lot to me.

Today also happens to be my birthday.  I have never had so many greetings before.  They are probably more than all the greetings I have received in my entire life put together.  Thank you for your good wishes and kind thoughts.  May all of us be blessed.  May there be health and happiness in abundance for all.

Random Thoughts

On Janvier's lunch:
I never failed to feel envious of him.  The type of food he ingest will make most of us grow sideways in no time.  Imagine the amount of effort required in the gym for the intake.  Full of calories but very tasty.  From his FB wall, that is kinda his staple diet.  But he is as slim as ever!!!

On another fellow Fbooker's comment:
We chat for the first time on FB.  He was pretty friendly and he gave me his contact no without me asking.  So I am pleasantly pleased because he trusted me enough to do just that.  Later he PM me.
His thoughts:
Don't put so high expectation on me.  I am fat and ugly as in my FB.
My reply:
The cover of a book may be pretty.  But it is the content that matters most.  The same cover over a period of time becomes old. However, the content is always subject to each individuals interpretation.  As you read it over and over again, you may discover and rediscover new things.  The sparks from the cover will wither over time.  The content from the heart and soul will continue to mesmerize over and over again.

Him:
I seriously don't know what to give you as a present tomorrow.  A kiss maybe?  Ha ha.  Can you tell me more about yourself?
My thoughts:
Must be my voice.

On the many muscled men at the mall:
Everyone wants to look pretty.  But what I noticed and see are mostly muscled dolls.   I am certainly not turned on.  But I know many are.  The dolls do feel that they are pretty well dressed.  Some in designer clothing too.  Maybe they have a statement to make.

Properly dressed to suit the physique and appearance would have been more appropriate.  That would have turned me on.  Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

Deepavali Day

The day started with what was left the previous day.  I was out the night before with a blogger.  We ended up having coffee at a joint till the wee hours of the next day.  He wished me Happy Deepavali  in the car on the way home.  That was cute I thought.

I was awaken in the morning by another blogger who was in town.  "Can you use What's App?..." he texted me.  We communicated and we had a late lunch.  Rather, he had a high tea, which I shared a bit.  I had to go for a Deepavali lunch which I had committed to earlier too.  So I watched while he ate.  Well, at least he ate well and it was worth the money paid for.

We walked towards Uniqlo.  It was really packed.  There was a long queue.  We decided to go to Pavilion.  Walked passed Paul Frank.  There was a 50% store wide sale.  I was pleasantly surprised.  I asked the server and he said that it was indeed a store wide sale.  There was not much choice left.  We bought two t-shirts each.  The we walked towards Quicksilver.  The fellow blogger then had to leave.  I browsed around and bought two pair of shorts and a knapsack.  All for 50% off.

I went back to my car.  A Porsche pulled up with a four wheel drive towing behind.  Then people with wired headphones  were seen securing the area.  It was a family.  I did not recognize them.  The lady at the wheel was last to alight.  She was still waiting for the valet to pick her car up.  I walked straight towards (almost) her.  I wanted to see how alert the wired men were.  The minder was quick.  He came close towards me without making the others realize. He was beside her a second before I arrived.  

Since the parking was flat rate, I decided to do something stupid.  I walked over and queued to enter Uniqlo.  The queue was like at least 450 meters long.  The crowd was orderly and some cameras were focused on the queue itself.  Some people actually find it hilarious and decided to snap their hearts out.  I was a little embarased with the attention.  After about 20 minutes, we were allowed to enter.

There were some good bargains.  The quality is average.  Since the price was reasonable, there was nothing to complain about.  The queue to the changing room took as long as the queue to come in.  Bought some clothes, jeans on sale, shorts and a fleeced warm top.

I walked back to Pavilion.  There was a fashion show going on.  The who's who must be there.  The crew were trying their best to drape the curtain so that no one else can see the catwalk.  The organizers might as well hold the function at a private venue if they wanted it to be so exclusive.  No need to be so cheapskate to hold it at a public area and deny the public their right to move freely at the concourse. 

I picked up my car, went home.  Warmed up and ate some left over food in the refrigerator.  Washed my clothes.

Started writing this post. Then an idiot from the condo called asking for help to unlock his clamped car.  As usual, they will give all kind of excuses.  Told him I cannot do nothing much.  It was just his tough luck. Pay up buddy if you want it opened.  I know he is going to curse me for this.

Now that this post is done, I need to go and hang my clothes out.

Happy Deepavali to my Hindu readers.

Lonely, Void & Empty

I will dread this three day weekend.  I was hoping to get away but it did not materialize.  Many friends are away too.  I know a lot of us deserve this break.  I was kinda looking forward to it too.  But I must admit that I am a bit flustered. 

It is on holidays like that that I feel down.  Really down.  Some will be with their loved ones.  Many would have planned ahead for another experience of their lifetime.  Others would go on vacation.

Normally I am quite reserved.  I am more of an introvert.   I seldom voice out what is so deep in my heart and soul. 

Today, I feel really lonely, void and completely empty.

Thanks Doc.

I sent Mum for her medical check up yesterday.  It was a routine one.  I normally would not go into the consulting room with her unless I felt a need to.  This time I popped in.  I wanted to know her blood test results.  It has been less than satisfactory the last time. 

Doc was in his early 30s.  We exchanged pleasantries and he was extremely courteous.  He even stood up and greeted me when I walked in.  In between the question and answer session, I inquired.  He spoke well without any slang.  But my ears were a little sharp.  I asked and he promptly replied that he was from North.  They then talked in that language.  I could see that Mum was really at ease.  But that did not do any good to her BP.  It was still high.

Part of the conversation then dealt with how life was tough.  Things were expensive and it was so difficult to buy a home for the pittance they were paid.  The bantering went on for a while.  It was like a meeting of mother and son!  On our way out I thanked Doc for his time.

I saw him write the 10 drug concoction he was giving Mum.  He is a Clinical Specialist.  Nice and readable handwriting Doc. 

I bumped into him again at the cafeteria.  He was working through his lunch.   I thanked him again.  We chat a little.  I told him how at ease Mum was.  I also told him how some other Specialists were not so nice.  We exchanged contact numbers before we went our separate ways. 

It never hurts to be nice to people.  We all like to be treated well and we should treat others the same.  The experience in the consulting room was warm. It was humbling.  It was already past 1.30pm and Doc had not taken his lunch.  He did not seem bothered and was really into his work.  There was no sulking or a sullen face.  Now that is a real attitude.  It was unlike some of the encounters I have experienced.  He put forth his case to mum in a very persuasive way.  I think mum was bowled over.  My regards for these care providers just went up a few notches. 

Thanks Doc.  May you and your family be blessed.

Singalongsong

I wrote this song it's not too long   cos' I've been thinking 'bout you

I wrote this song maybe I'm wrong   To be caught up about you

Well I don't know what you think 'bout me   Maybe you think nothing at all

But maybe you could just lie to me   And we could be in love you see

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long   It's when I think about you that I hear songs

And you can singalong maybe if you want to   Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

I wrote this song it's not too long   Cos' I m the one who loves you

I wrote this song this can't be wrong   I don't wanna smile without you

Well I just want to make you happy   but maybe you want nothing at all

and how I wish that you're meant to be   forever and a day with me

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long   It's when I think about you that I hear songs

And you can singalong maybe if you want to   Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

In everyway you mean more to me than you'll ever know

girl  I'll do my best to show these words are true

and if you'd like to make a song and be a perfect harmony with me

I'd find the greatest words to sing   so we could write our own romance

Oh it's a singalong song that's not too long   It's when I think about you that I hear songs

And you can singalong maybe if you want to   Cos' baby I wrote this I wrote this for you

Produced by Edward Chan/ Charles Lee/ Khalil Fong

Sung by Khalil Fong.

Very nice and meaningful.
Thanks to Legolas and savante

Judgement

Him: I have put on weight.  I am fatter ady.
Me:  Don't let anyone put you down because you are fat.
        It does not matter what they say.
        If they are your friends, they shall have to accept you for what you are.

In this world of vanity, many of us judge a book by its cover.  We are so engrossed with the superficial.  We are so concerned with the micro and minute detail.  So much so that we miss the bigger picture.  We miss the forest for the woods.

It is important to be presentable.  Unkempt and sloppy appearance sure would not be a good first impression.  Judge if we must but not just by just looking at their physique.  The character, persona and demeanor is equally if not far more important.  

All that bloom shall wither.  All that are young shall age.  We all will one day grow old.  Our skin shall sag.  Our waist line may grow.  What we see happening in the other person, it shall form part of our aging process too.

Judge a book not just by its cover.  Judge it by its content.   Bother not what others think.  We deserve the best.  The best deserves us.

Nightmare

I have not slept since the previous night.  It was like I was on call.  Forty eight hours in a stretch.

I finally managed to get hold of William's collection.  I have never got a chance to watch it before.  So I was excited and naturally the movie session got a little stretched.  By the time I wanted to sleep, it was a little too late.  I was afraid I would oversleep.   I was on an overdrive after the many sequels.  So I was pretty awake and perked up!

At six in the morning, I drove to my mum's place to fetch her for her blood test.  It was a pleasant trip even though traffic was slowly building up.  I arrived at the facility just past seven in the morning.  The traffic condition has never been this good before.   By half past seven, all was done and we were on our way back home. 

I envisage a stress free journey home.  No traffic jam.  We were going against traffic.  I was so wrong. 

It took two hours plus for what would have been at worst, a forty five minute journey.  The bumper to bumper crawl was like an evening after work traffic crawl.  I could not believe what came out from my mouth, "How can you all stay at a place like that".   I thought that was a little curt.  But I was totally stressed out.

I have not been caught in a crawl like that for a long long time.  I am sure a lot of my brain cells were fried today.  In the car I was thinking to myself what has this nation become.  Compared to our neighbours down south and some other countries, we are like pawns.  We completely are unable to chart our destiny because of the morons.

DKNY Fashion Music Part 2

The fashion show was an experience for me.  I have never been to one like this.  The models were really tall.  The ladies had heels of almost at lest ten inches. The guys were really hunky.  Some had Pan Asian looks.  Sitting at the runway watching the real stuff was watching on TV.  Imagine them walking right pass you!  That you are sitting and they are walking on the runway made them incredibly tall.  Their posture was upright and their struts were swift and confident.  Awesome.

I was really unprepared for this.  This would have been a perfect scene for taking pictures.  What more with the models wallking right up to me.  All I had was my handphone and iPhone camera.  I tried unsuccesfully to snap some pictures.  Their struts were too fast for the camera speed.

I did manage to take some pictures of the usherers and attendants.  They were dressed as pilots and First Officers. 

After the show I managed to take some pictures of the models who sportingly posed with some of the crowd.

Well, that is the best the cameras can do in the dark.  I really wished I had a DSLR with me.  That would have made a whole lot of difference.

The parting gift was a DKNY perfume.

DKNY Fashion Music Part 1

A friend could  not make it and passed me the invitation.   I was reluctant to go.  The invitation admits one person only.  I am reminded of some of the pictures I see from magazines like Prestige.  I really don't feel comfortable in those crowd.  I never feel comfortable in crowds what more in those type of crowds.  Besides I am alone without company.  At 7.35pm, I dressed up and forced myself to go.  I didn't know how to explain to my friend if he asked how the show was. It was held at the TUDM Museum. 

I arrived just on time before 8.00pm.  The parking bays were already filled up and I had to use the valet.  Luckily there was no charge.  Then I took a short walk past the planes to the museum.  I am amazed that the authorities actually allowed them to use the hangar for the show.  These places are normally out of bounds and your identity will have to be vet through before you are allowed into the compound.

I was ushered to a seat.  Finger food and drinks were served.   The airconditioner was blowing very strong.  It was really cold.  I could see many well dressed people there.  The crowd started swelling as the night went by and it was not past 9.00pm before the show started.

A Dream Into Reality?

I have never had dreams for as long as I can remember.  Even if I did, I would not be able to remember it when I awaken.  This time it is different altogether.  I want to pen it here to see if indeed it shall come true.  It is about a meeting with a FB friend.  He actually exists, is on my FB and I have chat with him before.  So far the chat has been short.  He is currently either busy, not interested or has an indifferent attitude towards me.   I do hope to get to know him better.  His current status is single.  This is how the dream went:

I bumped into him.  I know him from the pictures on FB.  He faintly remembers me.  He only remembers after I prompted him that I have emailed him my pictures.  We exchanged pleasantries.  I gave him a lift home.  Home is where he shares with his housemates.  We arrived at his home.  I was invited in and introduced to the rest of his mates.  I suspect one of them is his beau.

I helped out with some chores at the kitchen.  His mates came by and started chatting with me.  Most were sort of interrogating me in a casual manner.  I sensed that.  This went on for a while.  The friend was not there.  He was cleaning up and taking a shower, I suppose.

There was this one mate, whom I believe is his beau, who was pretty suspicious of me.  I could see both, the friend and his mate bantering lightly over some issues.  The friend was trying to pacify him whilst I was still being interrogated. 

The friend and his mates then started packing for an outing.  I bade the friend and his mates goodbye.  The friend followed me out to the porch.  Suddenly, he held out his arms and wrapped them around me, hugging me tightly for a good ten over seconds.  I remember vividly him clutching me again before letting go.  His last parting words were that he shall see me soon.

The significance of this dream is that I do not remember many of my dreams.  Those that I remember has always come true.  The friend's attitude towards me has thus far; at  best, been luke warm.  In the dream, the reverse was happening.

Let's see if things turn out like what is dreamt.

Privacy

I was chatting with a friend in a car yesterday.  He asked me how I got to know his junior.  I told my friend that his junior asked to add him in my FB.  He inquired further how the junior knows me. Well, probably it is because you are on my FB.  That is the only logical link I can think of.   I then reassured my friend I would never out him to anyone.  For one, I never write anything on my friend's wall.  Our friendship is just a little different.

I had the opportunity to chat with someone recently.  He was surprised that I have not talked to anyone or others about him yet.  He and I know that a lot of people would like to get to know him better.  Yes.  I do not talk about you to others because it is not my business to.  I told him unless he specifically asks me or wants me too, I would never.  It may amount to outting someone.

I chat with a friend's other half recently.  I found out that we met a long time ago.  Just a meet and chat, nothing more.  So please don't get excited.   I wrote a post on the blog about him.  I actually sent the post over to him for permission before publishing it.

Many times I am privy to information which are deemed sensitive and private.  Maybe my demeanor and character leaves people with the impression that I am trustworthy.  The truth is left to be seen with the passing of time.  I ain't no saint.  That much I shall divulge.  BUT, it is my principle to always maintain the privacy and confidence of my peers, friends and acquaintances.  It actually is none of no body's business.  Especially in a world where gossips spread like wild fire.  Before you know it, the whole story would be distorted and the truth become twisted.  What other people do with their life is their own business.

I have been outted many times.  I did not get a chance to decide if I wanted to let the other party know who and what I am.  I don't like that at all.  Many a times, I do not know who the other party is.  So it is like not knowing who I am being naked to.

So that speaks so much of why I am engage my brain more than my mouth.

My First TIme

From left, clockwise: Savoury Fruit & Nut Basmathi Rice; Indian Grilled Spice Chicken; Curried Eggs.

Saturday was the first time I attended a potluck gathering for a fellow blogger's birthday. William's to be exact.

I cooked three dishes. A savoury fruit and nut basmathi rice, Indian grilled spice chicken and curried eggs. Except for the rice, the other two dishes were my first try. This time I followed the recipes to the last dot. There was no time to explore and there certainly was no margin for error.

The dishes were a little bland for my taste buds, I thought. The aroma was there but the "umph" was missing. However one food blogger said it was just right. Maybe it is because I am so used to eating spicy and heavy stuff. I have decided to increase the spice content by a notch should I cook these dishes again.

This is also the first time I put up pictures on my blog. Hopefully there will be more to come.

What A Day!!!

Friday started as usual.  Cleaning is always done in the morning.  The cleaners arrived a little late.  I wanted to meet some bloggers for lunch but could not because the contractor was coming at two thereabouts in the afternoon.  So I decided to make some preparation for the gathering on Saturday.  Past three and there was still no sight of the contractor.  I tried calling to no avail.  Still called late in the evening but no response.  This is so unlike of him!

I left home at three ish to beat the closing of the bank.  Thereafter to pay for my car spare parts.  As it was already late, the roads had already started swelling with traffic.  I got caught in a bumper to bumper crawl on the way back.  A really wasted day waiting for the contractor.  Sometimes I just do not understand people.  What is so wrong with telling me that you cannot make the appointment?  That would have saved my day!  Now almost the whole day is ruined.  Luckily I had some preparation work to do for the gathering.

The evening was uneventful.  I went to MV to get some condiments that was still missing for my preparation.  I went to Bangsar.  Waited for a friend to call.  I am suppose to meet him before he leaves for the States.  I decided to have nasi lemak while waiting.  A beggar came by.  He was limping and using a four legged device to help him walk.  Since I was the only odd one out, I decided to partake in the ritual, so as not to give the rest the wrong impression that we are not caring people.  Stupid of me.  When the beggar walked away, I noticed the size of his deformed leg.  It was the same size as the good one.  Obviously he can walk alright.  I am sure he will have a lot to answer come judgement day.

The friend called.  I met him and  passed him some USD.  He is to get me some A&F t-shirts from the States.

Another friend called to get some information on afternoon tea at a hotel.  I offered to lend him two dining cards.  I met him briefly to pass him the cards.  His friends from overseas is in town.  I told him to call me when he is done.  I offered to fetch him home because it will be very late then.

Past one in the morning, he texted me.  I drove downtown to fetch him.  While waiting for him, the cops in a patrol car came by.  In Malay language:

Cop : It is dangerous to park here.

Me  : I am just waiting for a friend.  There is no where else to wait.

Cop : Who are you waiting for?  Can I have a look at your IC?

Me  : A friend.  (I passed him my IC and Driver's Licence.)

Cop : Please wait a while.

         (He took my documents and passed it to his colleague.
         The other colleague started dialing his handphone.
         Obviously there is no laptop in their vehicle.
         They are now asking HQ to check me.)
         Please drive pass the patrol car and park there.

My friend came down and entered the car.  I was telling him how much I dislike these people.  The cops should not probe me.  My looks, the proper car I am driving and the sticker on the windscreen all did not help.  They are obviously on a fishing expedition.  I was telling my friend how I am going to get them if they try to be funny with  me.  Save for the traffic summons I am clean.  Seeing my friend getting up the car, the cop came again to me again and asked:

Cop: Who is he?

Me  : My friend.

Cop : Oh yea?  He looks like you.

Me  : He is my friend.

I think my friend was a little taken aback.  For the first time he saw how irritated I was.  He probably found out my ability to color my speech with those four letter words.  Yes.  I really hate people who try to get something for nothing.  Always trying to take the easy way out and throw their weight around.  After about twenty minutes, the cop came and gave me back my documents.

On hindsight, I think the cops thought that I was a pimp waiting to pick the gal up after finishing her tour of duty.                                                                                                                                                        

I drove off.  There was a police road block two kilometers ahead.  All the cars in front of me were let off.  When my turn arrived, he stopped me and asked me to wind down my window.

Cop:  Good morning where are you from and where are you going?

Me  : From KL and going home.

Cop : Where is home?

Me  : (Told him where I lived.)

Cop: Did you drink?

Me  : No I don't drink.  (He put his face closer towards the car window.
         I felt like blowing my breath right into his face.
         I decided not to because it would then make my night a very very long one.)

From the cock up by the contractor to the encounter with the cops, Friday was not a good day.

It's A Small Small World

Early this year I met two persons who turned out to be bloggers later on.  I have even got to know one of his other half before meeting the blogger.  From the FB I have also bummed into quite a number of people whom I have known, met and come into contact with.  They are discreet but I am pretty sure all are one of us.  I am also bracing myself to meet up with a person whom I know his mum!  Let's just say that the meeting will be unavoidable.

Somewhere last week, I emailed an acquaintance, A,  for his contact number.  We have not chat before save for some emails and comments left on the cyberspace here and there.  We finally exchanged contact numbers and I hope to one day meet him up in the not too distant future.

On the same day about the same time, I received a call from a long lost friend. I answered but there was no reply from the other end.  He is suppose to be based in Hong Kong now but comes back occasionally.  I tagged him on my phone book as X.  Since there were a few with the same name, I tagged his condo name with him.  The mobile line went dead.

The next thing I knew, I received a text message from him.  "Hey, I am A's friend.  I have been reading your blog.  Your contact number looks familiar.  Have we met before?"

I have never told X who and what I am.  So this time it looks like I have outted myself!  I felt a little numbed.  But at the back of my mind I know that X is a good  person.  So what he has been suspecting all this while has been confirmed.

"U are X right?  Can I know if u stay in T?  Sorry yea cos I need to confirm if I get you right.  And whatever happened in the past let it be in the past k. Let us just keep it that way." I said.  At that time, X tried many ways, phrasing his questions so as to find out who I am.  I have thus far until now been able to skirt his million dollar question.  My demeanor makes it a little wee too difficult for anyone to guess who I am.  Now he knows, so I thought.

I have helped X before on many occasions.  I have helped him with many physios before.  Some of the occasions have been a little awkward.  Nothing untoward happened by the way.  Now that I know A, I do not want to complicate things or explain to A.  Worse still if A starts to think outside the box and let his imagination run wild, when in actual fact there is none to think of.  It is never my policy to create chaos in other people's relationship.  I always make sure that I m never the cause.  That would be very bad karma.  

"We must have met a long time ago.  I no longer use that name, X.  What is T, where is T?  I have never heard of that place before." X said.  Of course you no longer use the name X.  I already know from A that you are now called Y. 

Now I am a little confused.  I must have tagged the name wrongly.  Who is this bloke?  I have his contact number.  He has mine.  Out of the blue, he texted me and introduce himself as A's friend!!!  My mind tried to reconcile and recollect.  I could not make anything out of it.

Y was nice and kind enough.  He was patient with me.  I still did not let out who I am.  I asked for his FB account, added him and texted him back that I have added him.  I saw from FB how he looked like.  But I have never met this person before!  How on earth does he have my contact number?  I must have compromised my screening protocol then.

He texted me telling me that he cannot recollect who I am either.  There is no picture for him to view.  I was busy and did not reply.  He was really courteous.  I am the faceless guy and normally people do not take this  too kindly.  He asked if I could recollect how we met.  Or did we ever meet up.  I told him I could not recall at all.  I told him that I would MMS him my pictures later which I subsequently did.  Many many hours later.

Y then asked if I was such and such a person.  He mentioned that we could have met at MV before.  That would have been at least eight years ago?  Incidentally I have been wanting to find a person with the initial MW.  (I have recently added a person whom I thought was him.)  But I do not recall meeting a person like whom I saw on the FB pictures. Y also cannot recall from my pictures if he met me up before.

The meeting in MV and both of us having each others' contact numbers were the only clues and point of reference.  I looked through the Y's old pictures in FB.  I now recollect.  Yes, indeed I have met Y before.  Briefly.  The duckling has transformed into a swan.  The young nerdy person is now a very confident hot and good looking cheery handsome bloke who looks younger than his age!  Plus this guy has no air.  At least not yet.  Now I know why A brags so much about Y! 

This is indeed a small small world!  I never thought that I would meet Y again.   What a funny way to rekindle the friendship!

I wish the both of you all the best and an everlasting love.

Why Are You Still Single?

I have this neighbour on my floor which has suffered a stroke before. He normally is accompanied by a family member when he moves around.   Occasionally I would bum into him and his family in the lift.  He knows I am single.  He has asked more than one time.  One day months back:

Him: You are still single?

Me:  I nodded my head.

Him: Do you know that it is a joy to have a family? What are you waiting for?

        Look at my son, (pointing to his now twenty something year old son).  
        It is so good to have them around.

Me: I kept quiet and let out a smile.

That is just me.  I just did not want to create a scene or stir the hornets nest, so to speak.  I can always walk away quietly but still be victorious.

Two days back, I again bum into him with his son.  The same question were being asked.  I kept quiet and looked disinterested in participating in the conversation.   We entered the lift car and I sort of waited for him to ambush me again.  There were two other strangers in the lift car.  In my head I wondered how am I going to straighten him up if he continues where he left before entering the lift car.    He kept his mouth shut this time around.


Why is it that people think that procreation  is the only way for human to evolve? Why is it that they think it as a necessary phase of life which all must go through?  We are living in this age where core family values have eroded such that closely knit family units are so alien to many.  Divorces and separations are so common.  Go and sit in a family court one day and see how many couples are there to annul their marriage.  All for a simple reason - non compatibility.

Great, if we can have a family and procreate like what is the norm.  However, that is certainly not the only available way where we can be happy and live a fulfilled life.  Some day down the road, I am sure I will be happy and joyous too.

Pain Pain Pain

Two weeks back, I could feel a poky sensation on my left knee.  Sometimes I could feel a sharp pain.  I think it must be due to the jogging.  Maybe I did not warm up properly.  Maybe my left knee is weak.  I resorted to applying a cream.  A blend of Cetyl Myristoleate and fatty acid esters to lubricate and hydrate the knee.  On top of that I am taking a course of glucosamine hydrocloride with condrotin sulfate, devils claw and sharks cartilage, all in one.  I put on a knee guard and continued with my runs.

Somewhere early this week I felt pain on my right leg.  I think it is my right extensor digitorum longus muscle.  When I tip-toe I could feel the pain.  I am sure this is because I did not warm up properly before the jog.  Now I can even feel the pressure if I walk briskly.

The visit to the orthodontist this time saw him changing the wires of the lower teeth to a thicker one.  I can feel the pressure as he proceeded to tighten the wires on the bracket.  The first meal after the adjustment was a little uncomfortable.  The uncomfortable feeling grew by the next meal.  Now I can feel the pressure even if I am not eating.  Merely biting the teeth from the upper and lower jaw together will yield the effect.  It feels like the teeth is about to come off the gums.  I am sure you have felt the numbness and pressure of your teeth when you are heaty.  The feeling when your teeth moves a little when you are heaty.  This is how I feel now.  The only difference is that I can feel it on almost all the teeth!

So it has been pain and more pain for the last ten days.


ps. The pain on the knee has subsided.  The pressure and muscle pull at the right leg is also subsiding.

Nine Months Later

Those who hang around me know that I go for bargains.  Call me cheapskate if you want for I care not.  I don't print money and they don't just fall down from the sky!  I am skewed towards the stingy end.  From food to clothing to just about everything that I want to grab hold of, almost all the time, I buy only when there is a sale.  Love and relationships excepted always.

Feeling a little itchy, I went house shopping.  I managed to find a condominium unit going for a 20% discount to the market rate.  I checked the place out and it was alright actually.  The owner has emigrated to Australia and did not know that the price has actually risen. The potential for capital appreciation is very high because the condominium is undergoing upgrading works.   Maybe luck was on my side.  That was nine months ago.

Weeks after the vendor signed the offer to purchase, the whole transaction seemed moving at a crawling pace.  Later it became obvious that she, in cohorts with her solicitor, also a she, was trying all ways and means to frustrate the transaction.   Clauses which cannot be complied were put in place.  Absurd time frames were drafted into the agreement. My solicitor was so upset.  I have never seen this normally very sober person say "That's why I really don't like to deal with these b@#*!s"  The agreement was such that I definitely would have my down payment forfeited unless I paid cash for it.

My solicitor then asked to deal directly with the principal of the firm.  Initially the agreement seemed to be making some headway.  Soon the whole agreement was redrafted.  Alarm bells were ringing.  Whatever the other party could not explain, they claim that it was industry practice or standard.  Drafts after drafts were emailed to and fro between the solicitors.

When the other party finally realized that I was not going to back out of the deal, they decided to abort the sale.  Among reasons cited were sections in the agreement which they could not agree upon.  But those were the clauses they themselves put in!!!  I think the vendor has now realized that she sold her property at a discount.  Furthermore, the price has now appreciated by 40% compared to the agreed selling price! Now I am going to have debt consolidation for the house loan

My solicitor then told me the only way out was to agree with them.  In totality.  Let the vendor have all she wants.  Their way.  If the vendor then still do not want to sell, we are going to compel her to sell based on specific performance.  Never mind that the Sale and Purchase Agreement has not been signed.  There is already a contractual obligation based on the Offer to Purchase which was duly signed and the earnest deposit had already been accepted by the vendor.

Almost nine months later.  About the same duration it would take for the sperm to swim to the egg, fertilize it and form a zygote till the birth of a child, the vendor finally agreed to sell.  Her solicitor must have told her where we are coming from.  She must have been advised what would happen if she tries to abort.  The case laws are not in her favour.   Maybe she was also advised that the many traps set in place in the agreement is going to work in her favour anyway!  She'll be richer and she will still have her property.

Ha ha ha.  Fat hopes.  We are going to make sure that is not going to happen.  She is in for a surprise shock of her life!!!

Fourth Quarter - The Last Lap

It is now the fourth quarter of 2010.  Before I know it, the year would have come to and end.  I think it is time to take stock of what I have set out to achieve and where I have arrived at thus far.

2010 is suppose to be a year of unlearning, relearning and learning.  A year of discovering and rediscovering.  A year of growth.

Physical fitness was one of the area I wanted to address for a long long time.  Year in year out the motivation just wanes off somewhere along the way.  This time around I am pretty pleased with myself.  Never have I been this fit in my entire life.  The last time I got close to this state was during my varsity days.  The constant labouring work to put myself through school was an exercise by itself.  Coupled with long walks to and from University to save the money and the little food that is enough just to get by kept me fit.  Today I am better built.  The definition at the abdomen area is finally showing up bit by bit.  I can now wear clothes I could not last time.  Slim fit clothes finally looks good on me.

Now that I am on the right footing, I will keep it going and I intend to keep this for a long long while to come.   This is just the beginning.

Jogging has been an activity I had always wanted to do.   I finally made the leap of faith somewhere this September.  I am blessed to have a friend who gave me some pointers and ran with me a few times.  The confidence built up.  Never would I imagine that I could now jog for the distance I am doing now.  It is just the beginning.  Maybe a 5km competitive run followed by a 10km run somewhere next year?  All this is now possible.  I must say that the feeling after each run is exhilarating, probably caused by the endorphin excreted in the brain.

This statement which was posted on the facebook wall of a runner sums it all up:
"I run because it's my passion, and not just a sport.  Every time I walk out the door, I know why I'm going where I'm going and I'm already focused on that special place where I find my peace and solitude. Running, to me, is more than just a physical exercise...it's a consistent reward for victory! "

I finally had my braces fixed.  It was not as bad as I thought it to be.  Maybe the orthodontist was nice and did not try to tighten it up too fast.  I can see the improvement and I am very pleased with what I see in the mirror each morning.

My Mandarin lessons need brushing up and refixing.  I have been good at first, the slacking off towards the end.  The traffic jam to class and the work that cannot get off the mind was just too much to handle.  There is still less than three months to go.  I want to be able to confidently converse in the language before the year is up.  For this I have asked a fellow blogger to help me out.  He knows who he is and I hope to get it restarted next week.

Work wise, things can get better.  Things are not exactly what I want it to be.  A few notches up would be great.  It is getting mundane and boring to say the least.

Lastly I think the area I really need to work at beside my work is my relationship.  We still are at a friend stage.  One blogger put it succinctly.  You are both dating but just calling it any other name but that.  The truth is that the person has made it pretty clear what the person wants.  The only thing that is carrying me this far and beyond is my gut feeling.  I hope I am right and I don't screw myself up.

3 Lessons On A Sunday

Lesson No. 1 -  Instructions  Are Meant To Be Followed

I cooked one of my specialty dish - Savoury Rice.  This time I decided on a new recipe.  The fruit and nut rice which I normally cook is getting too predictable.  I have cooked from this recipe book before.  Blindly following the recipe from this cookbook always yield results - authentic Indian food which you can only get in good fine Indian restaurants.

Chicken Biryani.  The recipe requires the rice to be soaked for 20 minutes.  Normally Basmati rice should washed and then drained, not soaked.  So I did not follow the instruction.  Two twigs of fresh coriander and a teaspoon of mint leaves.  I bought so much.  A little extra should do no harm.  The instruction was again defied.

The rice goes through three different cooking methods.  The grains are first stir fried until translucent, then boiled in water and lastly cooked in the oven

The result: The rice was not cook evenly.  There were some grainy rice mixed with cooked rice.
The repair job:  The oven cooking time had to be extended.
The damage:  Rice was a tad too soft and the grains were broken.  It looked greenish due to the extra coriander and mint leaves.

The Lesson:

Instructions are meant to be followed right to the last dot.  A good leader starts by being a good follower.  A humbling and timely reminder indeed.

*****

Lesson No. 2 - Get Your Facts Right Before You Strike
Wuff wuff has been acting up lately.  I have been at my wits.  Cleaning up his pee all over the place has become an almost daily chore.  People tell me that it is because I have not been giving him the tender loving care, which he needs.  I admit that I have been neglecting him.  I spend more time outside than at home.

I came back and I saw another patch at the kitchen near the sink area.  I caught hold of him, brought him to the sink area and gave him a whack.  Only this time it was a real few whacks too many.  He must have got a shock of his life. 

I cleaned up the patch.  That was when I realized.  That is no pee.  It is water leaking from the pipe.  The damage was already inflicted.  I really felt bad.  Reminds me of people accusing me of things I never did.  This time I am the one doing it.  Yes.  An apology was extended to Wuff wuff.  But the pain in the heart was real.

The Lesson:

Check and investigate first.  Never assume.  It is not necessarily  always the same every time.  Do not let your emotional state of mind affect your thoughts and cloud your decisions.

*****

Lesson No. 3 - What Goes Around Comes Around
I checked the leak at the sink area.  While rummaging through the flexible hoses under the sink, one of the joint suddenly broke.  Water was gushing out.  Imagine the water pressure.  There was no stop cork and the only way was to switch off the mains.  Imagine the amount of water in the kitchen.  The clean up began.

 How is this damage going to be fixed on a Sunday evening at 10.30pm?  This is probably payback from heaven for what I have done?  I called the plumber.  No answer.  Another plumber was called.  Telephone number not in service.  

Last resort.  I called the Management Office Principal where I am a involved.  The chances of getting the situation restored is going to be slim.  How on earth at this hour would anyone have the flexible hose or PVC pipes?  The Principal sent a handyman over.  The pipe was fixed with some modification.  I literally had to pushed RM20 into the Bangladeshi's hands.   My lucky stars must really be shining brightly.

The Lesson:

Be firm but be fair.  No need to throw your weight around.  Do what is right.  People will respect you for it.  What goes around comes around.

Maafkan Aku

Aku duduk bersandar malas di dalam kamarku.  Mataku yang lesu memandang keluar jendela.  Langit yang pada suatu masa cerah dengan terikan matahari kini sudah bertukar warna.  Dari kuning ke jingga.  Sekarang kemerah-merahan. Kini langit kelihatan keungguan berserap cahaya dari tiang lampu jalanraya yang sudah menyala.  Kenderaan mula sesak di persimpangan menuju ke taman-taman kediaman.

Pagi bertukar malam, hari berganti minggu, bulan bersilih tahun.  Bertahan juga aku sampai hari ini.

Fikiran aku berkecamuk bagaikan gelora ombak menghentam pantai.  Dengupan jantungku kuat dan cepat.  Hatiku berlumba-lumba kesana-kemari tanpa arah hala.  Benar ke?  Haruskah aku terima dengan hati yang terbuka dan bukan terluka?  

Aku luahkan apa yang terserat di dalam lubuk hatiku bukan kerana ragu, sangsi dan tidak pasti.  Aku tanya kerana emosiku tidak menentu.  Jahat bukan niatku.   Aku lurus.  Aku jujur.  Hanya mulut aku yang terlanjur. 

Maafkanlah aku sijantung hatiku.

Facing the Firing Squad

Tomorrow is the day.  The condominium Annual General Meeting will be held in the morning.  I am a little stressed.  I have been involved for more than two years now.  Many projects have been implemented.  Some systems have been put in place.  The condominium is now in a better shape then when we took over from the developer.  Prices of the units have also appreciated more than 30%.

So why the stressed?  After all the owners should be grateful, shouldn't they?

People are never satisfied.  They do not want to contribute.  All they do is complaint and complaint.  Human beings are selfish by nature.  That is the basic survival instinct.  The extent of their selfishness depends on their mental and psychological set up.  Their mental state of mind and the environment they have been brought up and the environment they are in now shapes their thoughts.

A big majority if not all those who will attend the meeting tomorrow would have a bone to pick.  In our culture, we seldom see people coming to support a good cause.  Almost all who are satisfied will not be around tomorrow.  After all they have nothing to quarrel about.  That leaves the handful of us to defend what has been implemented.  That leaves our lonely voice to justify why we do what we have to do.  What is good for the majority must prevail over what is good for a few.   This somehow is very abstract to some people.

Before this a handful of the owners and residents were very unhappy with what we were implementing.  Our cars were scratched over and over again.  Yes.  Not once. Many many times on the same car.  Rotten food debris were strewn on the cars.  There were commotions.  Accusations after accusations were leveled at us.   They took offense when even their friendly politician cautioned them that what we were doing was right and for the benefit of all.

Short of having chairs and papers flying around in the hall, last year's Meeting was rowdy.  It reminded me of events akin to some meetings of some political party we read from the newspapers.

Whatever we do we do for free.  We actually spend our money.  Forget about the time and effort expended.  The cost for stationery, telephone calls, petrol and miscellaneous items  would have been a sum to start with.  What I cannot stomach is how these people can come and tell us how they want it done.  How they question our integrity in the most bizarre and unthinkable and illogical manner.  Their way.  And they have the cheek to tell us that those who are not in the meeting have by default abrogated their rights.  The mob wants it done their way. 

Unlike last year, this time around the owners have been pretty docile and have remained quiet so far.  Silence does not mean contentment.  Still waters run deep.  I shall not be surprised if we see some fireworks.  I will be surprised if there is none.  We shall wait and see what happens tomorrow.

Many things have happened over the week.  It has been a very stressful one.  I am completely exhausted and drained.  What you see on the surface is not what is in the heart and mind.  The heart is bleeding and the  mind is still trying to decipher.  The show is pretty mine.  I hope I will pull it through tomorrow morning without losing my temper and cool.

Wish me luck..Yes.  Lots of it.

Relationship

For some of us who are in a relationship, we yearn for one.  Ask some who are in them and they have so much to grumble.

It all starts with simple chats be it over the cyberspace, through gatherings or at clubs.  Sometimes friends introduce friends.  First impression counts a lot for some of us.  For others the feeling grows only after a few meetings or conversations.

We size the person up.  Physical contact may have already taken place by this point in time.  All in the name of love when it actually is lust. Platonic at best.  Love at first sight it seems.  Some of us would try to get to know the other party better.  The character and personality of the person.  Family background. Their likes and dislikes.  We screen our men out.

Many fall in and out of relationships like changing clothes.  That is not to say that there are none in long term ones.  Some are in a monogamous relationship while others are in an open relationship.  Then there are those in a relationship where there is a third party involved, the third party being either gender.

All said loud and clear to each other, sometimes attested in front of an audience, a union is formed. "I promise to be with you in good times and bad, in health and sickness.  I will love you and honor you all days of my life, for better, for worse, for richer,  for poorer, in health and in sickness till death do us apart." Something like that but maybe in many more words and gestures.  We promise each other everything including giving our grandmother away. The truth is some of us keep it but many others do not. Some never intended to keep it from the beginning.

Why are we attracted to each other?  We have the physical criteria.  Age, looks, height, ethnicity, etc. etc. The list goes on.  Then there is the emotional state of mind which we are looking for. A mature thinking person, one who is lesser or about the same.  Next are we looking for a fatherly figure, a brotherly figure, a sugar daddy etc.  The list continues long and it gets so complicated that even a computer with the biggest memory cannot decipher what the mind and heart thinks and wants.

For a relationship to work, there must be some common grounds where both parties can stand.  Even two twin brothers who share the same living environment from the day they were born do not have the same personality.  What more two beings coming together and agreeing to share their lives together.

There must be respect and mutual understanding.  Only if I give you the due respect can I expect the same in return. Respect means accepting the person for what he is.  Respect the person by giving him time and space to grow.  Respect his views and opinions accepting that they may differ from yours.

Honesty and trust.  Being open and transparent.  We bring along with us a whole load of baggage.  We may or may not divulge.  It does not matter what the past is.  For it is from this day onwards that matters.  From this day onwards, we must be honest with ourselves and with the one who are now part of us.  To be open and be truthful.   There must be trust.  There is nothing you can do if your partner decides to cheat on you.  He would have already schemed the whole thing up.  So both party must be honest about what they want.  Be open and transparent.

Expectations.  Both parties come into being with expectations.  It is important to manage our expectations.  What we cannot change we must learn to accept.  What we can tolerate we must.  What we can change we should.

Communications and listening skills.  We need to tell each other whatever is bothering us.  No one can read another person's mind and we do not want the other to speculate do we?  If you love the person, verbalize it.  If you do not like what and how things are going, voice it out.  When one party yells his mind off, the other must listen.  Ponder over it and ask whether there could be any truth in what was said.

Over time when two minds and two souls decide to work it out with sincerity, a new set of principles and living rules are established on mutually acceptable terms.

A healthy relationship is one where two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals while sharing each others' hopes and dreams.  It should be a source of inspiration, invigoration and hope.  The key to a successful relationship is learning to love the person you have found, not finding the right person.  Sustaining a relationship is not a passive or spontaneous action.  It never happens.  It needs to be nurtured and tendered.  We have to make it happen day in, day out.

Blessing in Disguise

Many times I do not know why certain things happen the way it does.  I used to and still does wonder why sometimes my life does not flow as smooth as I would like it to.  Events will just flare up.  One issue after another pops up.  It is like you trying to plug a hole on a water bottle and suddenly you find more and more holes and they just overwhelm you.  I wonder what kind of shit luck I always get into.  I have experienced situations like this countless times.  So much so that I no longer fight the flow. Apparently my life path is such that I will have to work for everything I want in my life and that it never would come easy.

So recently I got another dose of it.  I missed my flight to Shanghai.  I was pretty dazed.  As much as I was anxious and dragging myself, I really wanted to go.  After all I don't print money and I certainly should not have wasted it like this.  Imagine if I had donated it to a charity!   I was also thinking of a whole wasted public holiday spent packing, going to the airport and then back again.  Almost a whole day lost.

The afternoon got better.  I went for my jog and did a new best.  Longer distance with shorter time.  It still is a far cry from what an experienced runner would do.  But it is a small baby step in the right direction.

Dinner was with some blogger friends.  That was when a text came in asking where I was and whether I was free.  I texted back that I was having dinner and what is up?  You replied that it was alright and that I should have my dinner first.  I did not feel too good about this reply.  I know you are a person who does not want to trouble people.  But something is not right.  I had this funny feeling.  I certainly did not expect to hear from you, not at least till the end of this week.  So I called. The ringing tone changed to busy.  Another text message came in.  You were not feeling well and you asked if I could get you some food.  I could but I can only excuse myself after the dinner.  I did not want their tongues to go wagging!  You told me you were not hungry and I should continue with my meal first.  Past nine in the evening I texted you again if you wanted soupy noodles or porridge.  You asked for porridge. You apologized for the trouble you were causing and thanked me profusely for my effort.  Not an issue really.

Porridge was finally delivered to you at about ten forty five in the night.  Yes it was really late.  Any soul would be so hungry by now.  I hope you did not get gastritis.  I told you how sorry I was and you say you were not hungry anyway.  You were just being courteous and diplomatic.  I later found out that you finished two packets of porridge in one sitting!  So you were not hungry!

I texted you the next day to find out how you were doing?  You replied with a question.  You asked if you could come over to study because your place was hot.  No problem really.  Except that I am already out.  I shall be back in the later part of the day.  You were alright with coming over later.  By the time I could pick you up, you were already studying at a public joint with your housemate.  You did not want to trouble me but I pointed out to you that it is noisy studying there is it not?  You say maybe later.

I went and bought some groceries and food stuff to cook.  I have never cooked for maybe over a year now.  So there is nothing in the larder or fridge which I could use for cooking.  That includes the condiments.  I wanted you to eat something nutritious and home cooked minus the MSG.  However I was not sure if you would come over.

I arrived back home and texted you that you could choose.  Either you come over for dinner or I pack dinner for you and your housemate.  I am certainly cooking and I would like you to eat something healthy.  It will keep your spirits high in times like this.  Something home cooked.  As I was sending the message out to you, you were also texting me.  You asked if I could come and pick you up.  I did.  In the car, I told you that you could stay over at my place.  Nothing is going to happen.  You can sleep in my room and I can use the couch.  Not a problem at all.  I just wanted you to be as comfortable as possible.  Your finals were just lurking around the corner in less than seventy two hours.

You studied while I cooked.  We had dinner together.  I think the food was palatable.  We finished almost all of it.  I told you to go study while I cleaned up.  I made you more herbal drinks.  I let you indulge in some Haagan- Dazs, which you should not be eating because you were not well.  I could not resist perking your spirits up.

Late in the night you asked if you could stay over.  Of course you are welcomed to.  I fetched you back to take your clothes and study notes.  You slept in my room.  I kept my bargain.  I slept outside at the couch.  It was not really a problem for me because I had to couch custom made so I could sleep on it!  More importantly I wanted you to know that I always shall try to keep my end of the bargain.

You spent the next day studying.  I could hear you trying to memorize in the room.  Your study place moved from my study on the first night to the bedroom in the morning of the second then back again to my study.  By nightfall you were studying at the living area.  The next morning you were studying while having breakfast. I can see and feel the stress and tension in you.  Your notes were so thick and the writings were so small.  It reminded me of the sweat, blood and toil during my varsity days.  I now also remember why I never would have studied your discipline.  I am never good at memory work what more trying to memorize the Greek, Latin and chemical names.

I had you around till Sunday late morning when you told me that your housemates were a bit worried and wanted you back.  After a trip to the clinic and quick lunch, I sent you back.

Everything that happens, happens for a reason.  I know that too well.  At the airport I told myself quietly that it could be a blessing in disguise.  Maybe something untoward would have happened to me if I was in Shanghai.  The thought of something happening to the plane also crossed my mind.

Indeed it was a blessing in disguise.  When I asked you for dinner on Monday and Tuesday, you texted me that you need to have dinner with your mates last whole week.  Never in my wildest imagination that I would have you over my place for two nights.  That we would be having breakfast, lunch and dinner together.

I am not into anything physical.  Not at least you and I are sure what we want from each other.  I am happy that you chose to come over my place instead of your blood relations'. I thank you for your trust in me.  That really meant a lot to me.  I hope that you got a better insight of me as I have of you and GST

I like your character and personality.  I like your maturity.   I like to get to know you better.  I hope you could let me have a little space in your heart so that you can get to know me better too.  Since nothing comes easy for me, I shall work on it.

Hey That's My Money U know?

After some thoughts I decided to go to a Bank and withdraw my FD.  There's nothing much really but the bank charges are usurping whatever pittance they are paying for the interest.  So let's just say that I continue to be poorer as time passes.  That's not even counting the depreciation due to inflation.

I decided to use it to reduce my mortgage.  It is like putting the money in another account which will draw an interest equivalent to the loan interest charged.

After filling up the necessary forms and signing them, the counter staff started to process the transaction. I was then told that I have to come again the next day because I used the internet banking to place the FD.   Come on.  Let's get real.  By using technology I am now being penalized?  You have got to be kidding me!

I told the staff that no way I was coming back the next day.  It really took an effort to go to Puchong, let alone find a parking spot.   Am I entitled to charge an interest penalty to the Bank since they are late in paying me back what is due to me?  After all they are always quick to slap me the  interest charges for delays which sometimes are not due to my fault but the system's.

The staff told me they cannot do nothing much about it because the system is set that way.  I asked to see her superior.  I told the superior firmly but politely that I would like my money today and that they were to address their backroom issues which were not my problem.

Yes.  I am pretty clear of my rights.  Especially when dealing with these legal loan sharks banks.  They are pretty unforgiving and why should I be at the receiving end of their shortcomings.

The superior told me that I would have to wait and they would need to liaise with HQ.  This they did for like more than forty five minutes.  They had to do something to bypass the system.

Even then I still have to buy a banker's cheque or use my cheque to encash the money from my account.  I did not have my cheque book with me. I was not going to pay the RM2 for a banker's cheque.  Besides it is already past four in the afternoon and the cheque will now take two working days to clear.

We finally settled for cash for those transactions which they were able to bypass the system.  The one that cannot, I shall draw a cheque and bank it into my account while they shall close the account after the money has been withdrawn.

In parting I told the superior and the staff to look into this matter seriously.  I am sure I am not the first and will not be the last unhappy customer who is and will encounter this.  How can a customer be denied his right to withdraw his money anytime he wants to?  How can a withdrawal be posted in the journal today but physical cash given out the next day?  The systems analyst, the tester and the whole jing-bang gang ought to be shot! If you are keen on personal loan and money matters !

Shanghai Bunkered

The boarding pass had my family name right but the rest of the name sounded very China.  One of the given name sounded like a trunkated sylable of Pudong.  Maybe they did not allign the printing properly. Since this is a flight I am taking and for security reasons, I thought it would be better to verify with the counter staff. 

I waited for them to sort my name out which took quite a while.  Since I could do nothing, I took out my iPhone and wrote on my wall "At the airport...."  Just before I could continue any further, the service counter stafff then told me, Sir, your flight is tonight. No actually this morning. You missed your flight"

I was really taken aback.  How could I read the time wrong?  The printed time on the e-ticket was 01:40.  I thought it was 1.40pm.  Normally it would be 0140 hours without the colon.  But in the airline industry, this is the format used.  All the while I had the impression that I shall arrive in the evening in time for my friend to greet me at the airport.

I went to the ticketing counter.  I was trying my luck to see what they would charge for a ticket tomorrow early morning.  The price...a little over the return ticket I had purchased.    For that one way ticket price I could go anytime.  Since it was a leisure trip, I decided to cut my loss.

I have been a bit apprehensive of this trip.  I have free accomodation but my friend is only free during weekends.  So I am pretty much on my own.  My first worry is the language. I do not really speak the language.  A splatter here and there would give me a away and I am sure I would be fleeced.  Secondly I always think that this place is polluted, dirty and the people are not so friendly.  Then the toilets are dirty.  Something I have a problem with. I was anxious and a bit stressed when this day came.

A friend who normally would not ask so much about myself had been asking a few times when and what time I was departing.  Last night he asked again what time was my flight.  Out of curiosity I asked why he was asking.  He said, "nothing la..just asking".  So I told him I woud text him before I board.   Little did I know that I was suppose to fly off two hours later last night.

Surprisingly I did not feel any loss. I felt relieved.   Maybe my heart and mind was at home. 

ps.  Thanks to Leggy for his many rides to and fro KLIA.